My Doc Has Balls For Obama

My human said several bad words today.  She’s mad that those people in Washington who are supposed to “provide for the common defense” are NOT doing their job properly.  Boy is she mad about it.  She is using a LOT of bad words.  I never thought I would hear stuff like that come out of her mouth.  Even Shasta got scared because of all the bad words.

Candi says that the Obama man doesn’t have any balls or he would do the right thing instead of just giving speeches about what a tragedy the attacks on our embassies are.  And she called that Hillary woman a word that I can’t repeat because Candi would send me to the pound for being extremely crude.  When she said those two things, Shasta started to cry and told me I should be very very good because our human was mad beyond words.

I called my dog doctor, Mr. Obama, and he said that he doesn’t have my balls anymore but that he has some you can borrow.  I’m sending you his contact information.  I would really appreciate it if you would take my dog doctor up on his offer since my human is not going to calm down until you get a pair.

I'm Still In Trouble

Every Friday night at 6 p.m. ET, my human logs onto the internet and we listen to Global Security Matters with Adrian Morgan via the Radio Jihad Network on BlogTalkRadio.com.  I like Adrian's show.  He gets rowdy sometimes but he sounds pretty doing it.  He has a different way of talking than my human.  He talks about Islam and the dangers of it and he explains it so that even I, a puppy, can understand it.

But today I'm a little upset with Adrian.  See, Adrian plays music on his show that is what my human calls her 'happy music'.  This music is calming and relaxing to her.  Last Friday, he played this stuff called 'tea music' and she loved it.  She wanted to find it.  Well, today he sent my human a message with a link where she could find it.  I appreciate him doing that for her, but couldn't he have done it yesterday when she was so mad at me for eating the pretty red 'sinning shoes'?  I stayed in trouble all day because he waited one day too long to send her a link to music that would have made her forget about what I had done.

Now I'm in trouble for being mad at Adrian.  My human says that blaming him for her staying in a bad mood all day is like that Obama guy still blaming Bush for everything.  She says that when you blame someone else for something, you are refusing to accept your part in the problem.  She says Obama was part of the Senate when Bush was in office.  He wasn't there very long before becoming President, but he was still part of the problem and he doesn't want to accept responsibility for his part in things.  He didn't have a very good record in the Senate from what I understand.

Anyway, I would like to ask everyone to send my human links to 'happy music' whenever I do something bad.  Oh...and tell Adrian Morgan not to wait so long to share 'happy music' too!

I Am Bad Like Obama

My human is very upset with me this morning.  Shasta told me not to, but I didn't listen.  I chewed up her red "sinning shoes" and she is really really mad.  She says that I'm not getting timeout, but that I'm going into a crate.    She also said that I was like that man in the White House.  That really hurt my feelings.

My human says that the only difference between me and that man is that I destroy shoes and he destroys the country.  I didn't mean to mess up her shoes.  They're just so pretty.  That guy in the White House is purposely messing up the country.  So I don't think it's fair to say I'm like him.  And why do I have to go into a crate and nothing bad is happening to him?  I don't think that's fair either!

I am trying to learn what to do and what not to do.  Sometimes it's hard.  I see something I think is cool and I want to play with it.  And I like to play with things that my human sets down because it smells like her.  I don't mean to destroy things...it's an accident.  Shasta says that what the man in the White House is doing is not an accident.  She says that he isn't even trying to learn from his mistakes.  I think he needs a crate, too!

Can someone please help me?  Can you tell my human that it was an accident and I didn't mean to eat the pretty shoes.  I just wanted to play with them.  It was an accident.

How Not To Be A Blowhard

My human is teaching me all kinds of things.  From history and politics to good behavior and manners, she’s determined to make me a good puppy.  Today I’m learning about a new word.  The word is narcissism and she says the President is a really good example of what it means.  She got this definition off the Webster’s Dictionary website for me:

nar·cis·sism

   [nahr-suh-siz-em]  noun

1.

inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love;vanity. Synonyms: self-centeredness, smugness,egocentrism.

2.

Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admirationof one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normalcondition at the infantile level of personality development. 

If you go to http://www.whitehouse.gov/ and check out the biographies on the different President’s, you will see that Obama has put himself into at least 13 of those.  My human says this is the height of arrogance and that it is a perfect example of the word I am learning about today.  She says, “Obama is a blowhard who just can’t see or hear his own name enough.”  I think she might be right.  I’ll show you one of those bio thingys and you will see.

My human says that this is a perfect example of how Obama has to show how great he is.  He hates the last President so he has to show how he ‘one-upped’ him when it comes to doing that “State of the Union” speech thing.  Candi also says that is a stupid thing to do.  That if you have to constantly remind people how great you are…you probably are only great in your own mind.

I don’t think I should ever follow Obama’s example.  It seems that people don’t care for ‘braggarts’ and ‘blowhards’.  I really want people to like me, so I think I’ll learn to be good and just let my actions speak for themselves.  Shasta and Candi says that is exactly how NOT to be a blowhard and make myself look stupid.  And I don’t think I want to look stupid or make people think I have to talk about nothing but myself all the time.  Besides, I can get in trouble all by myself.  I don’t need to put myself into other people’s stuff and make things worse.

Do you think if I sent the definition of the word I’m learning about to Obama today that he would understand and try to do better?  We could learn how not to be blowhards together.  I would help him and he could help me.  Well, we could help each other if Candi would let him into her home.  But she says it’s too late for him and refuses to invite him.  I’m gonna have to learn this lesson on my own I think.  Oh well.  Anyone got a shoe I can chew on?  

Not Just For You, Mr. President

The President said that the people in the military were fighting on his behalf.  Ummm…I’m a puppy and I know that isn’t right.  Candi has been teaching me U.S. History and I already know that the people in the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, National Guard AND the Coast Guard don’t fight for anyone at all.  They fight for everybody.

When I got into that fight with that ‘dryer lint’, I did it for Shasta and for Candi.  Not for anybody else.  But when my human’s nephew went to Iraq, he was fighting for Americans everywhere.  I think it’s kind of silly to say something like that.  After all, I don’t think he’s so special that all the people fighting would be doing it just for him.  I think it’s bad that he doesn’t think they are fighting for everybody.

Even I know that there is a difference between fighting for someone and fighting for an ideal and/or way of life.  I’m just a puppy and I know that.  Mr. President, I think that you need to sit down in timeout and think about what you said.  Then, if you apologize for not being smart enough to know that the people in the military are not just fighting on your behalf, I may let you out of timeout.  

I Don't Want To Be Eaten

Shasta is scaring me!  She keeps talking about that Romney guy that ties dogs on roofs and saying that if I’m not good our human might put me on a roof that way.  Now she’s talking about that Obama guy that eats dogs.  I don’t want to be eaten!  Being on a roof would be bad enough, but eaten….yikes!!!!

Candi, my human, says that Shasta is just being mean because that’s what big sisters do to little brothers.  She also says that I don’t need to worry because she would never put me on a roof or cook me for dinner.  Candi says that they only do that in places far away and that dogs here shouldn’t worry about it.

There is one thing that really scares me about it, though.  If that Obama person gets re-elected, will he make eating dogs legal?  Will my human have to start eating dog meat because that’s what he’ll put in grocery stores?  And will it matter how big the dog is?  Maybe I should talk Candi into running away from the scary Obama man with me.

Thrown Under The Bus????

I learned something new last night.  My human kept talking about that man in that place called the White House throwing that Rosen woman under the bus.  I didn’t understand what she meant so I thought I’d ask Shasta.

“Patton,” Shasta said, “throwing someone under the bus is what I do to you when something gets broken in the house.  I point my paw at you and Candi thinks you did it and I had nothing to do with it.”

That still doesn’t make any sense, but…ok.  When Candi explained it, she said that “throwing a person under the bus” means that they did or said something stupid and you try to claim that you have nothing or very little to do with that person.

OK…so let me see if I get it.  That Obama person tried to say that the Rosen woman doesn’t talk for him because she doesn’t really talk to him very much.  I think that’s what they were telling me.  Anyway, here is my thing.  Why does that man spend so much time “throwing people under the bus”?  Everytime I see him on that TV thing, he’s always explaining how he doesn’t feel the same way as someone else that is on his side.

Maybe the people throwing other people under the bus need a timeout just like the person who said the stupid thing in the first place.  I’m not sure, but that seems kind of fair to me.